


Tony, Gender, and Steve

by AgeOfAlejandro



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Cissexism, Genderqueer Character, M/M, Steve is trying and Tony is patient-ish, Trans Character, Western Privilege
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-15 20:22:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/853676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgeOfAlejandro/pseuds/AgeOfAlejandro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony comes sauntering through the kitchen, giving Steve a nod is passing while fixing his cuff links as Pepper trails behind him and glowers at the back of his head. Steve glances down and notices that, oh hey, Tony's wearing very high heels. They're a good four inches tall, bringing him about level with Steve himself, and a creamy chocolate that matches Tony's suit perfectly. He walks like it's normal for him to traipse around in ladies' shoes, moves like this is nothing unusual, just something he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> Apologies and hanging my head in the shameatorium if something similar has been posted.
> 
> A lot of Steve/Tony fics seem to gloss over or quickly dismiss the fact that the last thing Steve remembers is the 40s, when men were men and women were women and Nazis were Nazis (except when they were scary doomsday machine-building Nazi-splinter groups).
> 
> So basically I'd like a fic where Steve is made deeply uncomfortable by Tony's flamboyance and general over-sharing. Not a flat-out homophobia or even a 'oh-god-hot-yet-wrong' thing, just lots of clash of the time periods. E.g. Steve quietly freaking out over Tony wearing pink, carrying a 'purse' (manbag/satchel), casually mentioning those multi-gender college orgies...
> 
> Also, it turns out Steve is secretly a bit jealous of Tony's openness. Because sure, there were gay/bi/genderqueer people in the 40s, but they didn't get to blab about it like SOME PEOPLE.
> 
> Could be established relationship, but OPs preference is for them to get together at some point during the story.

Tony does pretty much whatever he wants. He stays for days in his lab (with incredible results), he crashes parties he wasn't invited to (but is inevitably the life of the party so no one minds in the end), and he does things like wear women's clothing anywhere he wants. And, just like any other habit of his, any attempt to talk to him about it results in raised eyebrows and an "And?", as if the question was irrelevant. Because he does what he wants and to hell with everyone else's expectations.  
Steve doesn't really know what to do with that.  
  
  
  
  
The first time Steve notices anything is shortly after he moves into the Tower. He hears two pairs of heels clicking down the long hall from Tony's room on morning and at first, he assumes maybe its Tony's PA, Sandra, ushering out some dame Tony had charmed into his bed. But then he hears Pepper and Tony's voices ("You _have_ to go to the party tonight." "No, actually I don't.") and he frowns. That should only be one pair of heels then, right?  
Tony comes sauntering through the kitchen, giving Steve a nod is passing while fixing his cuff links as Pepper trails behind him and glowers at the back of his head. Steve glances down and notices that, oh hey, Tony's wearing very high heels. They're a good four inches tall, bringing him about level with Steve himself, and a creamy chocolate that match Tony's suit perfectly. He walks like it's _normal_ for him to traipse around in ladies' shoes, moves like this is nothing unusual, just something he does.  
  
"...Tony," Steve says before he really realizes he's talking, "what kind of shoes are you wearing?"  
  
"Hm? Oh," Tony says as he turns around to look at Steve. "Louboutin?" Tony says, hiking up his pantleg to do a visual inspection . "Yeah, these are my brown Louboutins. Why?" he asks, his eyes twinkling with mirth and maybe a little malice. "Want a pair? I can buy you a couple, if you want."  
  
Steve is acutely aware of his blushing and has trouble looking at Tony, whose grin is turning wolfish. "No," Steve says. "I'm---I'm fine. Just, uh, are you sure you want to wear those?"  
  
Tony gives him a look Steve's not entirely sure how to parse; it's one part _oh my god you are so old_ , one part _you're still finding your place so I'll let that slide_ , and something else Steve can't identify before the whole expression is gone. "Yes, Steve," Tony says. "I'm fully certain I want to wear these."  
  
"Aren't you going to be in public though?" Steve asks uncertainly. "I'm pretty behind the times, but I don't think heels are," he chuckles, "masculine attire even in this day and age."  
  
"No," Tony says with an easy nod. "You're right, they're not. I've never be one to let other people's pre-conceived notions about gender stop me from doing and wearing what I want, though."  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Steve asked, uncertain again.  
  
"You know how baby girls wear pink and little boys get blue?" Tony says, smoothing his cuffs and arranging them properly under his jacket sleeves.  
  
"No, girls get blue and boys get pink," Steve corrects. "At least they did when I was a kid."  
  
"See!" Tony says. "A shift in gender expectations, right there!" He waves a hand at Steve, who is confused. "I'll explain that later, I guess. SHIELD mustn't have given you a print out on gender? No? Well I'll help you later, if you want. But anyway, women are women and men are men, right?" When Steve nods, Tony goes on to add, "Yeah, fuck that."  
  
"He's genderqueer," Pepper says by way of explanation (as if that does anything but confuse Steve _more_ ).  
  
"That, yeah," Tony says, gesturing at her. "Anyway, maybe you might want to look that up? Gender versus sex - no, not knocking boots or whatever your era appropriate euphemism is - versus sexuality. And then when I get home, I can clear things up or whatever."  
  
"Sure," Steve says, quite bewildered and unsure how else to respond.  
  
"Great!" Tony says distractedly, tugging on the bottom of his vest and buttoning his jacket. "See you later then." With that, he and Pepper sweep out, leaving Steve to wonder where to start.

 

  
He does what he suspects everyone does, even if they deny it, and starts with Wikipedia. The article on gender identities is enlightening. Steve learns about the gender binary, sex assignment at birth, third gender, agender, the difference between sexuality and gender, and lots of other things. "Genderqueer" is apparently a catch-all term, one he'll have to seek clarification from Tony about. And while he seems ok with masculine pronouns, but Steve supposes he should ask about Tony's preferences.  
Steve's trying but Steve can't help but think it's all very strange and maybe a little made up. He's going to humor Tony, but male and man, female and woman -- that seems like the natural thing. Or, he decides after reading up on gender patterns in other cultures, the natural thing in _most_ cultures (he's still adjusting to the idea that no culture is primitive, despite what he learned as a kid, but that seems to be easier than accepting the idea that Tony is not exactly a 'he' in the way that Steve conceives of "he"s).  
  
He wonders how Howard dealt with all this, both the change in the culture and Tony. Howard was relatively forward thinking, at least in regard to Peggy and the Commandos (he wasn't rude to Jim and Gabe, anyway), but even a very progressive person would have trouble with all this gender business. Steve certainly is.  
  
  
Tony finds him that evening when Steve is sketching the cityscape outside the Tower windows. Tony's still in heels and now that he's close enough, Steve notices he's wearing make up, too. Or eyeliner, at least.  
  
"So, did you look up anything I suggested?" Tony asks as he snags a chair and straddles it.  
  
"Hi, Tony," Steve says, amused by the lack of greeting. "My day was good, how was your meeting?"  
  
Tony waves a hand idly. "Fine, fine. The meeting was boring and didn't actually require my presence. I think Pepper makes me go out of spite. But," Tony says insistently, "did you?"  
  
Steve puts down his pencil and nods. "I did."  
  
"And?"  
  
Steve sighs and shifts. "It was interesting."  
  
"And explanatory, I hope," Tony says.  
  
"Oh yeah," Steve agrees. "I learned a lot, even though much of it was very foreign."  
  
"And is still foreign, I'd wager," Tony says, crossing his arms over the back of the chair.  
  
"Maybe, yeah," Steve cedes. "I'm trying though."  
  
"Good," Tony says with an earnest smile.  
  
Steve finds himself a little dazzled by Tony's smile, so he nods a little dumbly. "I'm gonna need time."  
  
"And that's ok," Tony says with a nod. "Even people who were born in the last _thirty_ years often have problems with this."  
  
They sit in silenced for a little while before Tony pipes up again. "Anything I can clear up for you?"  
  
"A couple things, yeah. Your preferred pronouns?" he asks, completely boggled by the idea that there were people who are _offended_ when the ones that matched their sex are used.  
  
"Masculine are fine," Tony says, watching him patiently. "Thanks for asking, by the way. Not many people do."  
  
Steve laughs, a little awkwardly. "You're welcome. So, wanna explain what 'gender queer' means, please?"  
  
Tony nods. "It means, for me," he says as he taps his chest, "that my identity encompasses more than 'man'. It's sort of a blend of 'man' and 'woman', although I tend to lean more toward the masculine by a bit. Enough that 'he' isn't usually jarring when someone refers to me as that."  
  
"Oh," Steve says, unsure where to go from here. "I-- I think? that I get it?"  
  
"Mmm," Tony says, eying him, "let's back up a little. You read about how gender works, right? Man, woman, agender, et cetera?"  
  
"Yeah," he says with a nod.  
  
"JARVIS, gimme a line, please," Tony says, looking up at the ceiling.  
  
A holographic line appears in the air over the table and Tony takes a minute to manipulate it and label the sides. "So, this is still an oversimplification, but," Tony says, not looking for from his fiddling, "it's probably easier to explain this way. People like to say it's a spectrum - which it is - but that leaves out the agendered and third-gendered people, so I kind of don't like it, not that there's any sort of shape that would explain things no matter what. I don't even know if 'gender sphere' does it but whatever. Anyway," Tony says, "I guess this will do. Men are blue and women are red," he says with a wave of his hand. Tony smears the red and blue together to make a gradient of the two and pokes his finger all the way through the hologram, where it's reddish violet instead of straight up purple. "This is me, roughly, most of the time. To the left of me are, well, cis men, and to the right are people who are genderfluid and the fully androgynous." Tony peers at Steve through the image. "Does that make more sense, hopefully?"  
  
"A little, yeah," Steve says. "So that's what gives you permission to wear heels and stuff?"  
  
Tony blinks at him for a moment. " _I_ give me permission to wear heels. There are cis men who wear them because it makes them feel pretty and there are cis women who won't touch heels for a variety of reasons. Heels are just a way I choose to express the more lady-like part of me."  
  
"But you're a _man_ ," says Steve. At the bottom of things, that's what Tony is, isn't he? He's not a transsexual or whatever. He's a man.  
  
Sighing, Tony sits back. "Sort of. It's overlapping identities for me, and I did what I do when presented with raw materials and melded them into something I could use. I'm trying to think of an analogy for you," Tony says, gnawing on the inside of his lip and watching him. "You're an Avenger, right?"  
  
"I am," Steve agrees, arching an eyebrow and wondering how this will explain anything.  
  
"But you're also Steve Rogers, the little guy from Depression-era Brooklyn, too."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Tony gestures widely. "Then Captain America, as he exists right now, is a product of both Brooklyn-you and your time as an Avenger, yes?"  
  
Light dawns. "I think I sort of get it now," Steve says.  
  
"Good." Tony gives him another earnest smile that leaves Steve a little dazzled.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve is still having trouble with Tony's chosen attire - the heels, eyeliner he's been known to wear, the occasional ladies' blouse Steve has seen him in. But he manages to pull them off, somehow, rather than the absurd Steve thinks he ought to. Steve even finds himself feeling a teensy bit envious of someone who can pull it all off like that, which makes him even more uncomfortable than the time Tony sauntered into the kitchen in an actual skirt.  
  
He knows Howard is a no-go topic by now, but he can't help but wonder if Howard had known what Tony is and he doesn't mean to ask Tony about it, but he does anyway.  
Steve leans back on the couch he's taken to sitting on when he invades Tony's shop and blurts out the question. "Did your dad know?"  
  
Tony tenses up as expected but doesn't look up from the schematics he's working on. "Know about what?"  
  
"The, ah, genderqueer thing?" Steve says eventually, supposing it's too late not to finish the question.  
  
There's a moment of silence during which Tony looks at him like he's trying to decide whether to say something nasty or not and his lips thin. Steve abruptly feels guilty and eventually, Tony says, "No. I was still figuring myself out when he died, but even if I had accepted being queer yet, my father was not someone I could have come out to. Or, really, my mom, either, although I'm reasonably certain it would have been safer to do so."  
  
"And it wouldn't have been with Howard?" Steve asks, regretting that he brought it up at all.  
  
"He ranted a lot about 'fags' and 'queers' a lot," Tony says, sounding entirely too casual. "I can be classified as one and am definitely the other, although not precisely in the way he meant it. And he got mean when he drank, and not all wounds are caused by physical actions, you know? Can we stop talking about this now, please? Because my old man is one of my least favorite topics."  
  
Steve grimaces as he wonders about the fag thing - he had accepted what _he_ was some time after waking up and was relatively comfortable with it, although he wouldn't necessarily call himself "out and proud". He was sad to hear Howard would have rejected both him and, more importantly, Tony, on that basis. "Yeah. I'm sorry I brought it up. I was just curious."  
  
"It's okay," Tony says, flapping a dismissive hand in Steve's direction.

* * *

It's pretty clear it's not when Tony avoids him for the next week.  
Pepper corners him on day eight, sharp eyed and arms akimbo. Leaning forward, she says, "What did you do? Because he wouldn't shut up about you before, and now he's refusing to do more than grunt when you're brought up."  
  
Steve knows better than to try to play dumb with her. "I, uh, asked about what Howard thought about the genderqueer thing."  
  
"That was stupid." Steve winces. She sure doesn't sugar coat, he thinks. "I know. I didn't mean to ask."  
  
Pepper _hmm_ s noncommittally. "Go apologize. Right now, before he goes out. Catch him in the garage."  
  
"Yes m'am," Steve says meekly and gets up. Steve's been skulking in the garage for about ten minutes when Tony finally appears. Tony pauses when he spies Steve leaning against the wall next to the car key rack and stuffs his clutch purse in the back pocket of his jeans before moving to stand in front of the rack.  
  
"I'm sorry," Steve says earnestly as Tony reaches for the keys. "For asking you about your dad."  
  
"I told you it was okay," Tony says, looking at the line of cars in the garage instead of at Steve.  
  
"And then you avoided me for a week," Steve replies. "Which I understand, and it's completely your right to do so if you want that, but I'm pretty sure that's a sign you're not actually okay with me asking what I did." Tony gives him a sideways look but doesn't say anything. "I really am sorry," Steve says again. "Is there, uh, a way I can make it up to you?" he asks, rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
"Hmmm," Tony says, a little malice in his eyes. "I think so. Be seen in public with me like this," he says and gestures at himself. The outfit Tony's wearing is more feminine than usual, a scarlet scoop neck shirt and matching heels, a gold clutch purse, and very, very feminine gold jewelry.  
  
It makes Steve uncomfortable but he really does want to make it up to Tony, so he nods. "Okay. Where are we going?"  
  
"Drinks with Rhodey. I don't think you've met him yet," Tony says, gesturing for Steve to follow him.  
  
"I haven't met any of your friends outside the team, aside from Pepper, so no, I haven't."  
  
"Mm, well," Tony says, opening the car door to his newest Porsche to slide in, "then tonight you'll have met everyone."  
  
Steve nods as he settles into the passenger seat. "All right." Tony catches his eye and smirks. "You might wanna hang on to something," he says as he puts the key in the ignition and starts the car.  
  
"Wh--!" And Steve is suddenly very, very grateful for the handle above his head Tony peels out of the garage.  


* * *

The bar they meet Tony's friend at is a quiet, but very upscale place tucked away in Manhattan, and Rhodey turns out to be a very tall Black man, who reminds Steve of Gabe.  
  
"Rhodey!" Tony calls, an enthusiastic grin on his face as he hurries across the room to. "How are you, honey bear?"  
  
Rhodes's expression is both affectionate and long suffering, and he doesn't even blink at Tony's attire. "I'm fine, Tony. How are you?"  
  
"Good, good." Tony says, a pleased, sly look on his face as Steve catches up to him. "Steve, this is Colonel James Rhodes of the Air Force. Rhodey, this is Captain Steve Rogers."  
  
"Pleased to meet you," Rhodes says, as he, oddly, sizes Steve up. "Tony talks about you a lot."  
  
"Only about the good things, I hope, Colonel," Steve says as they shake hands and Tony slides into the booth next to Rhodes. Rhodes chuckles. "Usually, yes. Call me James. Or Rhodes. Whichever you prefer."  
  
"Steve, then," Steve says with a smile as he sits down. Rhodes flashes him a smile and leads them to a booth.  
  
  
As they talk (Tony and Rhodes talk engineer shop and Steve and Rhodes talk military shop) Steve discovers that Rhodes manages to simultaneously be absolutely no-nonsense and tolerant of Tony's bullshit. Steve is a little bit envious to say the least.  
  
Sometime later, Tony disappears into the bathroom and Rhodes fixes him with an assessing eye. "I don't know where you two are headed, Steve, but don't you dare hurt him."  
  
Steve's a little nonplussed. "I'll try not to?"  
  
Rhodes sighs. "Oblivious. Why does Tony always pick the oblivious ones?"  
  
"That should be obvious to you by now," Tony quips as he settles next to Steve again. "We've been friends since I was, what, fifteen?"  
  
"Something like that, yeah," Rhodes concedes.  
  
Tony flashes him a slightly pained smile. "Then it ought to be pretty easy to figure out. Anyway, enough shovel talk. You still need to give me the skinny on Addams."  
  
Rhodes's smile is just a tad vicious. "I do, don't I?" he says, and launches into the story.


End file.
